Beauty Filters and Self-Esteem

No beauty filter vs beauty filter

Have you ever flipped through a magazine and wish you looked like one of the models? Ever stared at your face and felt so ugly that in became unbearable to look at? I have too. Almost everyone I know, men and women, have felt this at some point or still do.

As I love Japanese and Korean beauty products, I open my Instagram feed to hundreds of beautiful people, models and not, that make me feel like the ugliest person to walk the planet. Beautiful, poreless skin that is made to look natural, like everyone could achieve this look with just the right skincare product or the right foundation.

With these images thrown at our face everywhere, digitally and in-print, there is no escaping it. It makes you look at yourself and critique everything, bringing all your self-hate to the surface. You may have noticeable pores, a crooked nose, under eye bags, wrinkles, or whatever would be considered absolutely normal to have.

However, once you see those images, you can never believe those features of yours are normal or could even be what makes you beautiful.

What are you supposed to do then? Are we all suppose to magically accept our flaws and start loving ourselves? In a fantasy world where we were kind to ourselves and others, this would be the solution, but we don't live in that world. Instead, we try to calm our insecurities and use what's available to us. Meitu, BeautyCam, FaceTune, Snow, and similar beauty apps offer us a relief. A relief from our insecurities by allowing us to change what we don't like about ourselves.

I'm extremely guilty of feeling that exact way. I needed that relief to bury my insecurities and present myself as this beautiful person I always wanted to be. Taking pictures using beauty filters to hide my under eye bags, fix my crooked nose, and doll up my eyes made me feel good. It was an addiction, a hit that lasted only until I saw myself in the mirror every morning. When I looked at the mirror, I shamed myself for not looking like the photos I took. Why can't my skin be poreless? Why can't my nose be smaller? All these questions and self-degrading thoughts running through my head.

Now I say no more. No more beauty filters. No more berating myself for the features that make me beautiful. No more sharing images of myself that hide everything truly unique about me. 

While it's extremely difficult not to use these apps I have grown attached to, I'm finding true relief in accepting myself. It's a longer lasting relief that allows me to look at myself in the mirror and truly appreciate myself, flaws and all.

If you use beauty filters, that is perfectly fine. In a world with harsh beauty standards, you are not fake or an awful person for using them. You are coping with what the world has thrown at us and trying your best. Don't be afraid to embrace yourself naturally, in whatever way that means to you. To me, that meant an end to using beauty filters, but it's okay if that solution isn't for you. Do your best to remember every part of yourself is beautiful no matter what society or the media say.