Review: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
While I haven't been an avid book reader in a while, one book recently has given me a new perspective on how I lead my life and how I'm affected by the people around me. Mark Manson's The Subtle Art of Not Giving F*ck* is that life-changing book I need at this stage of my life.
As most twenty-somethings in this modern era, we care a lot about how we're perceived. Whether you care about how you're perceived online, through your family, by your friends, or whomever, it can become all-consuming. The worry about missing out and not living up to the expectations set for you by yourself or society can become a mental nightmare. Every day, we watch others lead what seems like extraordinary lives sharing their experiences on social media. Though we all know it is a highly curated image we are seeing, it makes us reflect inside ourselves what we're doing wrong and can make an average person feel like they're not doing good enough in life.
While much of this book speaks on the entitlement of our generation, which is such a tiresome conversation that feels like the older generation yelling at clouds, the book also reminds the reader that it is okay to be average. Not every single one of us can be famous or extraordinary and that's okay. It can actually be extremely harmful to your mental health to constantly strive to be extraordinary. I can use myself as an example of somebody who has internal pressure to be successful and extraordinary in all areas of my life, which in turn affected my mental health enough to make me fall into a long depression. Battling with inner thoughts of not being good enough and seeing people online that were younger than me with "extraordinary" lives created so much mental turmoil that it took over me. While what I had could have been called functioning depression as I was still able to go to work, my mind never stopped reminding me that I'll never be good enough.
If my story sounds familiar to you, then you understand how deeply this generation is affected by the need to be extraordinary. However, this mental burden can be lessened by one thing: not giving a fuck. In the book, Mark specifies that not giving any fucks about anything will turn you into an unempathetic sociopath and that's not what he recommends. Nonetheless, you can pick and choose what f*cks you give. One of the central points of the book is that everyone suffers. Life cannot be all peachy and positive; it is unfortunately filled with pain and struggle. To choose what fucks you give, you need to decide what struggles are worth the pain. For instance, if you care a lot about making tons of money, then you need to accept the struggles behind it: staying late at the office, working your butt off, constantly networking, etc. What struggles are worth it is the question to ask yourself to determine what fucks you will give.
One way to help you find the answer to that question is to think about your values. What do you value in your life? It could be having a close relationship with your family, having a successful career, and anything in between. However, it is extremely important to focus on values you can directly control. Values like being popular are ultimately going to bring you stress as it is not something you can control 100% (not everyone is going to like you and that's okay). If the fuck you want to give is directly related to a value you can control, then it makes the struggle worth it and less mentally harmful.
Overall, I found this book to be valuable, even if there are parts I did not agree with. The overall core concepts are helpful to anyone struggling and can put your life in a perspective you never thought of before. In my own life, it has helped me understand what my goals are in life and what I truly want to achieve based on values I can control. It's very freeing to not worry about being good enough (I still struggle some days but it's much better than before), which makes the book worth a read in my eyes.
* contains an affiliate link
Comments
Post a Comment